Prostate Health and Pleasure
Author: Sunny Rodgers, ACS
ILLUSTRATIONS BY ARI SAPERSTEIN
Prostate massage began as a practice reserved for royalty thousands of years ago in the Imperial Harem of China—a selection of 20,000 women chosen to help produce heirs and assure the continuation of the Emperor’s dynasty.
Members of the harem visited Chinese Tantric Masters to learn how to increase their chances of pleasure and procreation with the Emperor. The tantric masters shared secrets of a power point located inside the Emperor and a massage that could release untold power and pleasure.
This ancient power point was the prostate.
Key Benefits of Prostate Massage:
- Enhance sexual enjoyment and improve erections
- Remove the accumulation of prostatic fluid in the prostate gland
- Support a healthy prostate, enabling it to function properly
- Relieves pain and discomfort of an inflamed prostate
- Help prevent prostate cancer
Would you go to prison for anal pleasure?
Globally, there are 72 countries that have laws pertaining to anal sex, most of which are in religious societies. If this sounds like a large number, there were 92 countries in 2006, which means acceptance surrounding anal sex and pleasure is growing. Most Asian countries have never had laws pertaining to anal sex and France hasn’t had anti-sodomy laws since 1791.
Why is anal pleasure taboo?
Anal sex hits a nerve with some people for various reasons – from religious upbringing and beliefs to societal norms, to being unnerved by pleasure associated with a place on the body thought to be unclean. Some cultures associate anal pleasure with a loss of masculinity, and in turn, a loss of power. I believe this is because people think of being penetrated as a “feminine” act, due to the vagina being considered the foremost internal sex vessel.
Where are these perceptions coming from?
Most religions do not advocate any type of sexual relations outside of procreation. In many religious cultures, anal pleasure is strictly taboo as it is considered non-procreative sex.
The lack of sexual education in school systems creates more misconceptions about anal pleasure. Young adults aren’t given proper information or taught sexual wellness, so they form opinions based on what their parents, religious leaders, and friends tell them. Often the only information they receive about their rectum is that it’s dirty and even putting their own finger inside it is “bad”.
To help destigmatize anal pleasure, people need to accept and love all of their body parts.
What is a Prostate?
The prostate gland is located inside the rectum, toward the front of a man’s body. It is about the size of a walnut and secretes a fluid that nourishes and protects sperm. When not cared for properly, it can also harbor stale semen, which can lead to all types of health concerns.
How is Prostate stimulation linked to orgasm?
Prostate massage can be very pleasurable and is recommended for continued prostate health. The prostate gland is considered the male equivalent of the G-spot. Many men that I speak with are jealous that women can enjoy so many different types of orgasms. A prostate orgasm will also allow them to experience a new orgasmic sensation.
Adding prostate massage to solo-sex and partner-play allows for more powerful orgasms. The prostate really is a power point, aligning with your root chakra, located near the perineum. Massaging the prostate not only keeps it healthy, but your sex life can benefit greatly. Some men report longer, harder erections, while others have experienced their first multiple orgasms, which I hear are as rare as unicorns.
How To: Prostate Massage
Locating Your Prostate
Your prostate gland is located inside your rectum toward the front of your body. It swells with fluid during sexual arousal and this is often the best time to find its location.
“Come Hither” Motions and Stimulation Techniques
Often called “milking”, the best way to stimulate the prostate and encourage the release of stale semen is to use “come hither” movements using your own or your partners’ finger.
How To: “Come Hither” Movements
Have you used a Trac Ball on a laptop mouse? Have you ever motioned for a bartender to “come here”? This is a movement you make with your primary pointing finger. By slowly pressing down and rubbing back, and then repeating this movement, you can do a one-finger massage on your or your partners prostate gland. This is a common finger motion that women use for G-spot massage.
Using Prostate Massagers
These are helpful because they are appropriately designed to stimulate the prostate without guessing its location. Many are developed by physicians.
How To: What’s the best way to massage your prostate – with or without a prostate toy?
One of the top questions I am continually asked is if prostate massage will hurt. I always share that it shouldn’t involve pain if they follow some very basic tips.
3 things to remember for prostate massage are lots of lube, the best position, and relaxation.
Choose a good lubricant and lots of it! The rectal canal isn’t self-lubricating so using lubrication is crucial whether using a prostate toy or fingers. Without it there is a high probability for damage to your sensitive anal area.
Silicone lubricants are often recommended for anal products because they have a slicker formula and last longer. However, because the rectal canal is a moisture permeable membrane capable of transmitting soluble chemicals into the bloodstream, I personally recommend natural, water-based lubricants that have less chemicals and are easier for clean-up with no residue. Lubricating gels have a thick water-based formula designed to offer extra padding during anal activities. The decision on which lubricant to use is a personal preference but I advise taking time to learn about the different options that are available.
The ideal position for most men is laying on their side in a slight fetal position. Your fingers or a prostate toy will match the curve of your body in this position, so it usually feels best. Go very slowly. When you begin, take a deep breath and blow out as you begin to ease your finger or toy into your rectum. (Please be sure to have your fingernails neatly trimmed.)
Another trick is to slightly push out your rectum as though you’re on the toilet. This will help open your anus. Never force or shove. Just breath into it and take your time. Often it will feel like your finger or toy is being pulled inside once you have the tip halfway in. This is natural. The rectum does have a suction inside it. That’s why sex toys with flared bases are always recommended for anal play. You’ll often see flared bases on anal plugs that are intended for all-day wear. Many prostate toys will also have bases that allow for a firm grip on the toy during massaging.
Remember to breathe. Relax and allow your body to become accustomed to having your finger or toy inside you.
#4 Prostate Massage (also called Prostate Drainage)
If you feel toward the front of your body with your finger inside your prostate, you should be able to locate your walnut-shaped gland, which is soft and spongy. If using a prostate toy, the massager is created to press against your prostate.
With your finger inserted, the easiest way to massage your prostate is to squeeze your pubococcygeal (PC) muscle, which both men and women have supporting pelvic organs – the urethra, bladder, and bowel. These are the muscles that you tighten that make your penis “bounce.” With your finger on your prostate gland, squeezing and releasing your PC muscles will naturally massage your prostate. For extra stimulation, use the “come hither” massage mentioned above. If using a prostate toy, you can also push forward gently to stimulate your prostate manually. Remember to breathe!
If using a prostate toy, the product will automatically massage your prostate as you squeeze and release your PC muscles.
Trust me, it’ll probably be uncomfortable for the first few times. This is normal as well. It may take a few tries but what you’re looking for as an end result is a prostate orgasm to release stale semen.
#5 How to Have a Prostate Orgasm
Please be aware–the first 2-3 times that a man tries prostate massage it is perfectly normal for nothing to happen. As prostate massage is made a regular part of an overall health regime, pleasure will increase and the visual quality of stagnant, trapped semen will improve. The difference between a prostate orgasm and regular ejaculation is that semen will flow out rather than being squirted out.
I recommend milking your prostate 2-3 times each week, once you feel comfortable with it. The health benefits will spill over into your sexual life and allow for longer, more intense ejaculatory orgasms.
What can be expected when prostate massage is successful?
When you experience ejaculation from prostate massage you’ll notice that the sperm isn’t the same as your usual ejaculation. It can be thicker and exhibit a cloudier color. You’ll also notice that instead of shooting out quickly, stagnant semen from the prostate has a tendency to ooze or drip slowly from the tip of a penis. This too is completely normal.
What are the benefits of prostate massage?
Milking a prostate gland via massage removes stagnant semen inside the prostate, resulting in a healthier, cleaner prostate gland, and has been shown to reduce prostate cancer in men. Regular prostate massage can also strengthen muscles in the pelvic floor, helping to prevent erectile dysfunction in men.
Masturbation can also help protect against prostate cancer:
According to the Boston University School of Public Health and Harvard Medical School studies, men who ejaculate 21 times or more during a one month period were less likely to develop prostate cancer.
Does your doctor know about prostate health?
When doctors perform a digital rectal exam on male patients they are checking the size and condition of the prostate gland. Prostatitis is the medical term for an enlarged prostate.
Contrary to what you may assume, most doctors and therapists are given only one day of sexual intake training in medical school, so their knowledge on prostate massage and anal pleasure is limited. One reason prostate health is starting to register with the medical community is due to Baby Boomers reaching an age where their physicals are including prostate exams and many doctors are finding enlarged prostates. Men have begun to search for ways to reduce the size of their prostates and this is when they encounter prostate massage.
WHAT IS A BUTT PLUG? HOW TO USE IT?
There is a multitude of sensitive nerves located in the anal region and many people enjoy using and wearing butt plugs for solo pleasure or to intensify sex play. While prostate plugs and massagers usually have a slim design that is reflective of their specific purpose, butt plugs come in all shapes and sizes.
To insert a butt plug you can follow the same steps as inserting a prostate massager. I recommend only using a butt plug that has a flange or ring at the base because of the suction at the entrance to the anus and rectum, and once something passes sphincter muscles it can be drawn up further into your body via this vacuum effect.
And yes, some people will wear a butt plug on a daily basis to enjoy the feeling of fullness and pleasure. So, keep that in mind as you meet people throughout your day.
HOW CAN I INTRODUCE PROSTATE MASSAGE TO MY PARTNER? HOW CAN WE DO THIS TOGETHER?
Sexual Wellness: Share statistics with your partner(s). According to the American Cancer Society, other than skin cancer, prostate cancer is the most common cancer in American men. 1 man in 9 will be diagnosed with prostate cancer during his lifetime and 1 man in 41 will die of prostate cancer. In 2017 I had two good friends pass away from prostate cancer. What if you could save your partner’s life? If you love your partner(s) and care for their health, having a frank conversation with them is the first step.
Sexual Enhancement: Prostate massage can be a bonding activity for partners. As mentioned above, prostate massage has historically been used to improve a man’s sexual prowess and intensify his pleasure. Looking beyond the health benefits, prostate massage is a great way to add a new dimension to sex play. Treat your partner to a prostate orgasm.
CAN I USE COCONUT OIL FOR ANAL LUBRICANT?
Coconut oil is an excellent choice for anal pleasure because it’s antibacterial, antifungal, anti-inflammatory and is very nourishing to delicate anal tissue. Keep in mind that coconut oil does degrade latex condoms so it’s not recommended for anal sex play.